DO IT LIVE.

2,367 notes

Someone once told me that I was hard to love. The way I switched back and forth so quickly, my emotions always shifted so swiftly- they told me I was unpredictable. Never knowing what you’re gonna get, I go from white and back to black again- never gray, I wish I could explain why I am this way
But its hard. I am hard to love.
You say touching me is like walking on egg shells- never knowing if you’ll be greeted with embrace or a slap to the face, whether I’ll think you’re sweet or just a sour taste- I’m sorry for my change of pace- I am teetering.
Teetering between day and night, hiding in the shadows only to embrace the light never knowing what it is that I want, never knowing when I’ll change my mind- I am indecisive.
Someone once told me I was the most infuriating person they’d ever met, they way I floundered like scared prey desperately avoiding their net- they said I just want to hold you, I said today I don’t want you to.
Borderline. That’s what psychiatrists pegged my Personality with the addition of the word Disorder. My cells are disordered. I am hard to love.
One second I adore your essence, the next second I can’t stand your presence and I’m sorry.
So I will refuse your touch although I crave your attention, the pendulum that is my mind I thought I had mentioned- I am indecisive. I can be pulsing love through my veins at the hour and by the next rain down fury that showers
You, and you will wonder exactly when the shift occurred. I wonder that too.
My hands once used to cradle someone I felt so significant will suddenly find themselves feeling indifferent and I will have hurt you
But I never meant to. I never meant to climb aboard this never ending roller coaster ride, the one that doesn’t prohibit letting more passengers inside- I never meant to be
Borderline.
(aureate-dwale)

(Source: aureate-dwale, via ixnay-on-the-oddk)

Filed under this applies to those who are bipolar as well

150,924 notes

1. When you cut yourself, clean and bandage it.

2. Do not start smoking cigarettes because the boy who broke your heart does.

3. When you want to kill yourself, don’t.

4. Cutting calories doesn’t do anything but make you unhappy.

5. If the number on the scale rises, throw it out.

6. The first girl you ever “date” is going to call the police on you even though she lives three thousand miles away, because you’re going to tell her that you’re not in a good mental state shortly after you’ve “broken up”.

7. When you want to kill yourself, don’t.

8. Break up with the boy who says, “You had a sexy phase!” when you tell him that you’ve dated a girl before.

9. Dating your friends is not always the best idea, but you can still be friends after you’ve broken up.

10. Your mother will try to become your best friend because you’re leaving for college soon, let her.

11. When you want to kill yourself, don’t.

12. Your closest friend will stop talking to you when you leave for college.

13. It’s always okay to cry.

14. When you want to kill yourself, don’t.

15. When you cut yourself again, clean and bandage it. Do not be ashamed.

16. Your anxiety is going to try and control your entire life. Tell it to shut the hell up, because you’re trying to live and that task is hard enough as it is.

17. The past has a funny way of coming back in the form of you developing a crush on another friend.

18. Try not to hate yourself for breaking up with your boyfriend.

19. If you’re still smoking, apologize silently to your mother.

20. When you want to kill yourself, don’t.

(via the-psycho-cutie)

(Source: enjolrasactual, via psychmajorpizzamaker)

Filed under this is so relevant

79,860 notes

hotdadcalendar:

I’m actually concerned for boys who complain about how different girls look without makeup. Like did you think eyeshadow permanently alters a girls eyelid? Are you frightened when people change clothes